My Dark Side

One of the most difficult chapters to write for my book I called 'My Darkest Edges', aka 'The Dark side of the Womb'. The chapter was recently published as lead piece on the Parenting Express website.
The poem that goes with the chapter inspired me to start my video blog Mum Sanctuary.

There are also a few early blog pieces I wrote when struggling to come to grips with my the fire-breathing dragony bitch of sleep deprivation. You might like to read:

Surrender the Night
How to Tame Your Dragon
Let the Sunshine in...into the Dragon's Cave


Here's my poem...
edges of me by Lyndal Edwards

When I'm exhausted
the world seems flat
my kids annoying, my husband useless
the day too daunting.

I want to scream "leave me alone"
and retreat like a bear
to a deep, dark cave
until my wintery mood passes.

My elastic band of love
snaps painfully back as
I think and feel and sometimes say
those things I know are not OK.

And with each passing moment
life offers me the chance to dance and love again
the sun's warmth, my daughter's joy
an endless invitation to step out of the void.

Sometimes I fight the fight
that later makes no sense
to stay exhausted, deluded
to show those I love the edges of me I despise.

And sometimes I surprise myself
And emerge from my exhaustion
like a lotus from the mud.

I open to the sun and the
Love that surrounds me
Effortless and Beautiful.
Anything is possible.