Woke this morning after a crazy teething night. Can't tell you what happened at what hour because it's all a mad blur. All I do know is we emerged from the cave at around 5.50am to start the day. Despite rising 2 1/2 hours before leaving the house, it was still a mad rush to get out on time for school/ work. When I returned to it at 2pm, it looked like someone had broken in and wrecked the place searching for something of value.
Any way, back to 5.50am. When I finished breastfeeding and dragged myself out of bed I left the girls and Bob in bed and went upstairs hoping to find 10 minutes of peace and quiet before the turning on the treadmill of the school day rush.
I stepped onto the verandah and immediately fell into the cosy warmth of the sun. I'd grabbed my yoga mat on the way with the intention of ironing out some of the breastfeeding creases from the night before.
With my first breath and stretch I started the usual self-talk: 'Better make the most of these few minutes because you've got a 15 hour day ahead of you before Robert's back home and, frankly, I don't know how the hell you'll make it through!'
I could feel the dragon emerging (the dragony fire-breathing bitch of sleep deprivation). Only this time I stopped it in its tracks. I turned to the sun, soaked in its light and beautiful warmth and breathed in the possibility of a new day.
'No matter how exhausted I feel today, I accept whatever the day chooses to give to me. And I'll be grateful for it.' I almost instantly felt my shoulders loosen and my back iron out. I felt freed from the burden of exhaustion and decided then and there that, despite the plans I had for the day, if the opportunity presented itself, I'd lay down and rest. It did and I did. Amy and I mamanged a short nap together in the afternoon.
We left the house an absolute mess that morning and for the first time in a long time, I didn't take ownership of it. At 5pm it still looked that way and all that mattered was that we were all fed and watered and loved.
Besides. mufti day tomorrow and I'd rather spend the evening having fun helping Lily organise her outfit than stress about the mess we'll be stepping over.
The dragon sleeps another day...
Lyndal
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